It feels like I've been alone too long, With no girls around My mamma's wondering. Thinking of some way, to release it.
I looked in the kitchen, Saw some Crisco Oil, And that's when my bladder started to boil, Ooooooh yeah.
Ow, Ow, Ow! (Uh oh!) Ow, ow, ow! (Oh God! What did I just do?)
No one wanted to be with me, Had to make my dream come true, I wanted to hump something, I didn't know what to do. It seemed like a good idea, And no one else was around, I stuck my weenie in a bottle, And now I can't get it out!
Stuck my weenie in a bottle today, Gonna shove it up there all the way. I stuck my weenie in a bottle, Oh no, Can, can, someone come help me out?
It's turning purple, All the feelings gone, Now where did I put that friggin' phone? Dialing 9-1-1!
Please pick up! I'm in a lot of pain! This was supposed to feel good, Now I'm suffering, Oh, please answer!
[Emergeny Services] Denver 911, what is your emergency?
Ow, Ow, ow!
[Emergency Services] Hello?
Ow, ow, ow!
[Emergency Services] Sir, what seems to be the problem?
No one wanted to be with me, Had to make my dream come true, I wanted to hump something, I didn't know what to do.
[Emergency Services] Go on!
It seemed like a good idea, And no one else was around, I stuck my weenie in a bottle, And now I can't get it out!
[Emergency Services] You stuck your weenie in a bottle, Oh my! You must feel really lonley, guy. You stuck your weenie in a bottle, That's a first! Don't worry sir, We're sending somebody out! Hey Pam, this guy's got his weenie stuck in a bottle!
