(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of'em were nudniks and none of'em would last But ournew guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to die for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew? Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too Working' like a dog at the synagogue He's there all day, he's there all day Just say "Vay is mir!" and he'll kick into gear He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer Just grab your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!" He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul What's not to like? What's not to like? Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays And he never eats pastrami on white break with mayonnaise Put on your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip The parnets pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell Show up at his home, he says, "Shalom!" And "Have some cake-You want some cake?" Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz! So grab your yarmulka-- The one you got for Chanukah--
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