The Empirical Strikes Back (by Dr. Jane) - текст песни
The Empirical Strikes Back (by Dr. Jane)
When I was young I longed to have a potent intellect To make my mark in science and be treated with respect I pondered learn-ed treatises, performed experiments And honed the razor edges of my vast intelligence My Vast Intellegence
I studied with the finest And I earned advanced degrees And when I left the hallowed halls My mentors words were these
May the evidence be with you May the facts be on your side Don't let your love of theory Take your reason for a ride For theories are seductive They'll rob your senses blind We be (?) wandering in circles in the Darkness of your mind
I started my career as a prodigy pro (?) My colleagues waited breathlessly for every word I wrote The students flocked to study but they worshipped me instead As they marveled at the cognitative power of my head The Power of My Head
I had at least a dozen grants And plush facilities And honary titles In the best Societies
For the evidence was with me, And the facts were on my side And no attractive theories Took my reason for a ride I knew theories could seduce you And could lead you off the track If you abandon the empirical she's bound To pay you back
But then one day a mocking voice spoke softly from within How limiting are facts and scientific disipline Your mind could leap tall buildings with extrapolative glee Could wax escatolgical (?) Most metaphysically Most Met-a-phys-ic-lly
Why document your theories? Its clear they come from you They're true because you passionately Want them to be true.
So let speculation guide you Let abstraction point the way Let guesses and conjecture Answer might win the day Let facts fall by the wayside And embrace the inexact Abandon the empirical She'll only hold you back
When I cast aside experiments in favor of decrees Propounded pompous paradimes with flip pedantic ease I shamelessly distorted every fact that didn't fit And evidence against me why I never mentioned it I never mentioned it
I mouthed my polysyllables And told my lofty lies Condescended to my colleauges And they would not meet my eyes
For the silver tougue was with me And believe was on my side I was seduced by theory And my own cerebral pride So I spoke with firm and passion And profound authority Declaring the empicial Had lost her hold on me
Now my papers don't get published in the journals of repute My colleagues all avoid me and the lab gave me the boot I worn out seven lab coats and the knees of all my pants Imploring students not to leave and groveling for grants And Groveling For Grants
They call me crank and airhead And they say it is a shame How the love of my own brilliance Brought dishoner to my name
Three pounds of jelly theorems (??) Narcissistly inclined I went to bed with Theory Paying evidence no mind Divorced itself from science And Reputiated fact I abandonded the empirical Now she, won't take me back.
May the evidence be with you May the facts be on your side Don't let your love of theory Take your reason for a ride For theory can seduce you It can lead you off the track Don't abandon the empirical Cause she's bound TO PAY YOU BACK!
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